THE FRIENDS OF KHAN

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We are the friends of Khan. After studying the life accomplishments of Khan, we believe that he's not such a bad guy. Sure he detonated the Genesis Device and almost destroyed half of the galaxy, but aren't we all guilty of wanting to have a little fun?

Besides, we think Kirk meant to kill Khan's wife on the original Star Trek series. We have no proof to back up this claim, but we don't think we really need any. So there.

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Khan's Servants:

CAPTAIN DOUGHNUT
- D.O.B. 04/12/56
- Known to his peers as the 'Impossible Midget.'
- Sells bath towels in the desert.
- One hell of a field hockey player.

SIR KRUMPET
- D.O.B. 09/01/84
- Claims to be the true source of all milk.
- Has seen every episode of Cop Rock twice.
- Possesses the awesome power of shat collection +2.

REV. BOGANHADE
- D.O.B. 10/31/00
- Lost his face in the 4th World War.
- The only man alive who can count backwards from infinity.
- Does not drink.

APPLE FILLING
- D.O.B. Yesterday.
- Thinks that Power Rangers are a brand of reversable slacks sold only in Canada.
- Sleeps while standing in a vat of dog fat.
- Will remove his clothing only when he is undressed.

SISTER BLISTER (left)
- D.O.B. Whenever
- An imaginary friend formed when Captain Doughnut pokes his left nipple.
- Can be seen by everyone except Captain Doughnut.
- Not proud to be an American at all.

Senator Jerry Rigg
- D.O.B. 01/02/03
- Can read the future of any Walmart employee.
- Rumored to have a fetish for fondling Microsoft software.
- Invented the toothless toothbrush.

THE INSIDIOUS MASTER LIEU
- D.O.B. 12/25/00
- Blew up in a shuttle launch.
- Refuses to believe that wallpaper isn't a gas.
- Framed O.J. Simpson.

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