HEHEHEH,WHY
DOES PLANET CHUMP HATE ME? -
1:45 PM EST
Back
in RA2 beta (original) I was playing on my P166, with 64 MB RAM, on a 33.6
modem and a Voodoo 1. I jumped onto the PQ Beatdown server which showed
up in Gamespy and played as the only modemer. Examine the scores, especially
Bastards place.... I posted this one before, but thought it needed to be
shown again and again. :P
id
= GOD?
#15
QUAKE IS A VALID
RELIGION.
Do
you play (pray) daily?
Does
it give you meaning in life?
Do
you view id as GODS who give us divine gifts from the holy land (Texas)?
Do
you religiously read the news pages, comics, and anything on the net for
more information about it?
Do
you catch yourself looking at those Q3A screenshots and longing and drooling?
Do
you sit in your house for several days straight and play Quake when you
have bills to pay nad other 'real life' things you need to do (like eat)?
Do
you know of thousands of other worshippers?
Trust
me, it fills the whole void that any religion can. And it only asks one
$50 donation a year for higher levels of enlightenment.
JUST THE FACTS MA'AM.-
2:45 AM EST
#14
"FEMALES ARE
ALWAYS RIGHT. NO MATTER HOW WRONG YOU KNOW THEY ARE, THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT.
"
My
homy Gusty sent me this one, think he's been through some shit recently
:)
TENNESSEE ZEN. -
2:30 PM EST
#13
"AIN'T NOTHING
BUT A SPECK OF DUST, ON A FLEAS LEG, ON A HAIR ON THE LEG OF GOD."
Wayfarer knows a fella that he mentioned to me 'The Tennessee Zen Dude'
that speaks some very interesting wisdom. This Dingleberry puts you into
perspective when you think you're sooo L33T
PLANET
CHUMP.
Funny
that a file labeled by PQ and Blue's as 'not worth getting', and 'immoral
to have' yadda yadda has attracted around 200 'not interested' folks to
see screenshots of this 'not woth getting' file.
Going
on record right now on this one... PQ,
as news people go,YOU ARE PUSSIES!!!!At
least Blue pussed out from the get go, you guys shoved it in, then decided
you were skeeeered and pulled out. A ONE PUMP
CHUMP.Posted a fucking screenshot and yanked
it after like 10 mins max. NO BALLS?
Or trying to KISS CARMACK'S ASS
for interviews? From now on, you're PLANET
CHUMP to me.....
Q3A
FIX.-6:30
PM EST
Here
is a copy of this Q3AFIX that magically popped into my lap. Has missing
sounds, gfx, and opengl32.dll you need..
Extract
using folder names...
Q3A_fix.zip
(601 KB)
DINGLEBERRY
DELAYS.-6:30
PM EST
The
FTP is being a lil ho, and I barley got this one up so the Dingleberry
will be posted later...
Q3A
PICS!!!!.....
An
anonymous source sent me a zip file overnight with these screenshots of
the 'non-working tech demo.' He/she said that they LANNED it all night
and had a blast, go figure, Planetquake is full of shit. And even more
amusing... I got a screenshot last night from PQ's page where they 'temporarily'
had a Q3A screenshot of THEIR illegal copy. See that HERE.
RAZORBLADE WALKING. -
1:10 PM EST
#12
LEARN TO WALK
TIGHTROPES.
Females are very confusing, this we know, but here's a common 'excuse'
to wander off for them. Being too something, or not enough something. Example,
with girl #1 you came on strong as the sweet nice fella you are, she wanders
off, 'he was too nice' she tells her friends. So with girl #2 you try to
be more removed and distant and give them room to breath, she wanders off
cause you didn't show enough emotion etc.
Your confused eh? Me too. So by learning to walk tightropes you can get
a feel for knowing what is too much and what is too little. However a simpiler
method would be to become psychic... 8P
| SATURDAY, FEBUARY
27, 1999 (SORTA) |
BOOZE, THE WONDER DRUG.. -
?:?? PM EST
#11
BOOZE TO GET
THEM, BOOZE TO FORGET THEM.
Nothing
gets them to open up and talk about the real stuff like a few beers. I'm
not advocating get em drunk and fuck, I'm saying they end up saying some
shit they normally hold back when they're intoxicated. Trick is not to
say too much yourself...
Once
they dump you (90% will, trust me) booze helps to cure what ails you. It
helps cloud the mind, and rebuild that confidence. Hell you'll forget about
her after a two week drinking binge, trust me :)
SPEAKIN
OF BOOZE.....
No update actually made today do to two reasons.
#1 Since adding Linux to a partition Winblows has begun being a little
whore and messing with my ports so it sometimes takes 4-5 reboots to get
my modem responding.
#2 Went to a party immediatly after work and got way fushed up...
;)
BFG LOVE. -
1:10 PM EST
#10
USING THE BFG
AND GETTING WITH GIRLS HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
You
gotta lead that shot man, don't run in and fire right at her, you see her
scurry right, fire hard right, she'll walk right into it...
BLAM!!!
1A
PLUG.....
Blog
is Fraggy's boyfriend, and he's a fine Quaker, but even moreso he's a GREAT
Tribeser(?)... So Here's a link to his mighty site...
| 1
THURSDAY, FEBUARY 25, 1999 |
BOOZE LABEL. -
1:30 PM EST
#9
ALL ALCOHOL SHOULD
REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING LABEL, "WARNING, WILL IMPAIR ABILITY TO JUDGE ASS
SIZE."
Ahem, not that I'd really
know the effects...
1A
PLUG.....
My
clannie/Fragtoy/and Linux guru Fraggy has a site with some..ahem... things
for you to check out... So please pay her a visit eh?
| 1
WEDNESDAY, FEBUARY 24, 1999 |
A ZEN KOAN ANSWERED. -
3:00 AM EST
#8
THE SOUND OF
ONE HAND CLAPPING IS A VERY LONELY MAN....
I don't need to elaborate
any further....
1M@$E$'S
KOAN....
If
a bot fired a Rocket Launcher on a server with no real players on it, would
it make a sound?
1STARSIEGE
TRIBES
So
I played Tribes my entire day off. I did discover one thing about Starsiege
lag, you hardly lag, but when you do it's intense shit that rapes the whole
server. You don't really get the laggy movement, you're pretty much either
playing fine, or occasionally rock solid, and possibly disconnected. I
will say I don't think I've ever seen a better game play on the net right
out of the box, hats off the the guys who did the net coding for Tribes.
It's just so fun to wander the vast open areas in Tribes after spending
so long trapped in walls of Quake and Quake II. Hell I even spent an hour
or so just wandering around a couple levels alone just to check it out.
Kinda sickening to think I get more pleasure from a walk in the computer
outdoors than the real outdoors... :P
DOES
ANYONE KNOW HOW TO PUT SHIT INTO A .VOL file??????
| 1
TUESDAY, FEBUARY 23, 1999 |
JAILBIRD. -
2:00 PM EST
#7
IF I COULD PLAY
QUAKE IN JAIL, I'D BE THERE.
Now
we're not talking high-security, ass-raping jail, we're talking low-security,
3-meal-a-day, just kinda hang out and do nothing jail. Hell they even educate
you and stuff. There's no women around, so they can't mess with you, it's
as close to a monestery as you can get without giving up everything. The
only thing missing (currently) is being able to play Quake 24/7. When they
get Quake, I am goin to jail.
1STARSIEGE
TRIBES
Ok,
I've been known to cheat on Quake once in a while with some other ho, Half-Life
kept me away from Quake for maybe a month... Last night I was unfaithful
again with a really pretty ho named Tribes. Now if you want fast-paced,
hardcore gaming it ain't it. But if you like strategic teamplay where the
folks who actually follow orders and not just run around flag chasing own,
then this is it. The graghics are awesome, and the huge outdoor playgrounds
makes me wonder why the hell Quake lags so bad when you see the sky. I
played for hours and lagged one time, I got disconnected but I suspect
my ISP. Rolling mountains, sky, rain (snow) and floating citadels make
this game a blast. It's hard to figure out at first, you gotta buy your
armor and alternate weapons, you can control turrents, fly vehicles and
communicate with radio cammands. I really am torn between kicking back
in the heavy armor and raining death from above with morters adn sniping
with the 20X scope and killing f000s that are miles away..
| 1 MONDAY,
FEBUARY 22, 1999 |
PSEUDO DINGLEBERRY. -
3:00 AM EST
Now this is sketchy as
a Dingleberry since it's a top ten list, but.....
Thanks to Majestry
for submitting this one...
#7
Top 10 reasons
your Computer is Better than Your Girlfriend
10)
Your Computer doesn't mind if you play around on another computer!
09)
Your Computer will actually hook up with another computer and play!
08)
It is possible to get a Low Maintainence Used Computer!
07)
Your computer doesn't mind if you strip it down in front of your buddies!
06)
Your Computer WANTS you to play video games!
05)
Your computer will SHOW you porn on the internet
04)
Your Computer will also go out and FIND PORN for you!
03)
When you reboot your computer it doesn't take 2 hours to get ready!
02)
Your Computer will go with you to Lan Parties and have fun!
And
the number 1 reason your computer is better than your girlfriend:
TWO
WORDS - POWER SWITCH
1WELCOME
BACK WAYFARER!!!
Well
after a couple week hiatus my ol pal/clannie/giblet is back.. Glad to see
him, I must say killing him makes me oh so happy...
| 1 SUNDAY,
FEBUARY 21, 1999 |
QUAKE. THE TOY OF THE GODS. -
1:15 PM EST
#6
PLAY QUAKE 24
HOURS A DAY.
Since
Quake is more addictive than crack, it won't be hard, and the benefits
are HUGE.
#1
Being able to blow people into giblets with getting arrested.
#2
MAJOR stress relief (see #1).
#3
Helps kill social skills.
This
is good for helping to avoid WROHS (Woman Rip Out Heart Syndrome) (NOTE:
this is not directed at any certain girl, so don't take it wrong).
#4
Male Bonding.
Meeting
tons of other fellas that feel the same way about #1-3.
#5
Makes
you feel like you aren't as lazy as you are.
Think
about all those constructive hours spent making that skin...
#6
Cheaper
than crack, pot or beer.
However
all of those might increase your Quake experience...
#7
Makes
you feel skilled and talented.
You
may not have a good job, a nice car, lots of money...so what, you hit fraglimit
twice last night :)
#8
Increase
your hand/eye coordination and motor skills.
#9
Learn
more about your computer than ever before.
Since
I started playin Quake (and Q2) I have learned more about building, tweaking,
optimizing, repairing and everything else possible just to make my Quake
experience more enjoyable.
It's
all about them frames and that ping dammit.
#10
You
got something better to do?
| 1 SATURDAY,
FEBUARY 20, 1999 |
GAH... OWNED.. AGAIN.. -
11:45 AM EST
#5
NO MATTER HOW
WISE YOU ARE, WOMEN CAN STILL OWN YOU.
Accept
it. Every single woman in the universe has the innate, unconscious ability
to own men without even trying. Even the stupidest of them, and the intelligent
ones are more lethal than an atom bomb...
1[chron]MadDingo's
KILLER PAK'S
OK, NOFADZ
has one of his clannies PAK files posted which gives new crosshairs as
well as a zoom alias that changes your crosshair when you zoom. Also there's
some AWESOME new transparent HUD icons (which I have assimilated into my
collective).
Check
them out here:
1I
CAN STILL PLAY QUAKE...
Last
night on our local LAN, Rine and I played Quake ... Poor ol Rine and I
running around on this awesome DM map holy2 with me hording the Lightning
Gun, Rocket Launcher and Quad....
| 1 FRIDAY,
FEBUARY 19, 1999 |
DINGLEBERRIES, DAY ONE.-
11:45 PM EST
#1
TREAT NEW GIRLS
LIKE NEW CARS.
Getting
involved with a new girl is like getting your first car. You want to drive
fast and drive eveywhere in it, but on like the third day you wreck your
new car speeding and lose your license till you're 18.
#2
FRIENDS DON'T
BLOW FRIENDS.
In
reference to a female 'friend' who made a joke to me about giving me a
blowjob...
#3
DON'T MIX HO'S
WITH BRO'S.
My
wise and humorous roommate/clannie/best friend Rine shared this nugget
with me referring to hanging out with your friends and girlfriends at the
same time...
#4
BE A COMPLETE
ASSHOLE TO GIRLS.
Rine
in his wise Buddha like way has without even trying stumbled upon the most
simple method for avoiding the pain that women can inflict. He without
trying can piss off any woman in like 5 seconds, and although he always
says that it sucks and he's dumb for doing it, I must say I envy how he
has managed to avoid the serious pain that women can so easily inflict.
If you think you
got some good turds of wisdom....
SUBMIT
YOUR DINGLEBERRIES HERE.
I'll even give
you credit...
1WHAT
ARE THE DAILY DINGLEBERRIES???
What
are the DAILY DINGLEBERRIES you may ask???
Well
given that I am a vast ocean of wisdom and humor I will be sharing my supreme
knowledge with all you little peaople in an effort to make the world perfect...
like myself. To do this I will pick some of my finest and most creamy dingleberries
from my ass of widom in order to help you mere mortals to become gods like
me. Not only am I supreme in Quake, but in all aspects of my life, in short,
I rule. Should your small mind come up with a dingleberry that may spark
my absolute attention, please send it on, and I will give you full credit
fo your turd of knowledge....
To
start off I will post a couple recent jems, in the future I will post one
or more daily depending on how full of shit I am that day.
1THE
RETURN OF M@$E$...-
1:00 PM EST
Well
after moving, installing Linux (still learning that Greek) and setting
up my LAN, mutilating Rine on the LAN and hanging out with a cool girl
I met I've been so neglecting of my old warhorse here....
Then
after LANNING some original Quake a bit I got hooked to Q1 and started
playing it online...
But
now I am back in the swing, and am looking for a Linux FTP proggy so I
can do this from there instead of Winblows which will allow more updates
and less hassle...
Starting
tonight or tomorrow I will begin a new era of Script Central (maybe a name
change too..), which will include some hot creamy nuggets of knowledge
and humor from my vast array of turds lying around....
Prepare
yourself for....THE
DAILY DINGLEBERRIES......