QUE'S SECTIONS ARE DEAD, LONG LIVE ME. {10:30 AM EST}
Some of you may know of QUE (Quake the Universe and Everything) the Quake poetry site. It seems they are no longer accepting limericks, free-form poetry, and stories & prose, only Haikus from now on.. *SIGH* So, to provide an outlet for you folks that write free-form, limericks etc, I will be posting your poems and the like in QUE's steed. To submit a limerick, free-form poetry, story or prose click HERE.

Recently, I have received inspiration from a friend (you know who you are) and began writing some things again, here is my first Quake Free-Form Poem:

A DAY IN DM
whoosh
a rocket flies by
and I spin
and strafe
and jump
just miss the second one
and the third
switch to the grenade launcher
pop
pop
bounce a few
backwards running
where'd he go?
spin and run around a few turns
gotta move quick
there he is
well more like his back
watching
waiting
for me
to come from where I was
I smile
lightning gun in hand
light him up
he's dead before he knows
'wtf?'
I grin and move on
holding still could be my death too

AND YET MORE CHANGES. {1:00 AM EST}
This update will be short and sweet..... I'm soooo tired from getting up way too early to make my car legit.
After a discussion with my partner in crime Wayfarer, a final site change is on the horizen. Adding more content, improved layout, adding Wayfarer as a writer, and ... a new improved name.... I must say, Way came up with one that I really like...

#25 QUAKE COULD PROMOTE WORLD PEACE.
Consider it, instead of going to war, and wasting millions of dollars and lives to solve some petty dispute, have the countries that are conflicting have their best Quake players duke it out to solve the problem. So many lives could be saved, and all we'd need is a LAN set up in some neutral country, say Sweden, and send the countries there to battle for supremecy. Consider how many wars could have already been prevented... For instance, do you really think that Saddam could beat Billy boy in Q1 DM? No way, Bill would be all laid back from getting 'special warm-ups' from an intern, and he'd just zone and own. Heehee, I made up a new slogan... ZONE AND OWN.

LINK OF THE DAY.
Mr T: The Toughest Sounds In The World. This self explainatory site was submitted by the browsemaster general, Rine.
 
 

MONDAY, MARCH 15, 1999

JOHN ROMERO ON DAIKATANA HUD. {12:00 AM EST}
So I wrote John Romero directly about an issue I thought would be a major problem in Daikatana, the same HUD weapon icon for all guns. Playing with no visible gun hard as hell since you had no clue which gun you currently were carrying, but playing online (MPLAYER .. GAH) with a visible gun eats frames and lags your ass.
He replied:
>>
This is definitely going to be fixed. :)

John "Quake's in the Hall Of Fame now" Romero
Ion Storm - Game Designer, Chairman
Daikatana: It's not just a game, it's the law.
http://www.daikatana.com, http://www.dknation.com
My .plan: http://finger.planetquake.com/company.asp?id=2
<<

I attached his full signature since it shows clearly that Mr. Romero knows he is the shit... :)

#24 SOME PEOPLE ONLY ARE ALIVE CAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM.
I read that on the wall at the towtruck company that took my car the other day. It's very true I'm sure you agree, I bet offhand you can think of at least three folks in this catagory. I've often dreamed that the goverment gave me 24 hours to kill anyone I want. I'd invite them all to a little party and then burn the building down and shoot any that managed to escape the flames... :P
I am so sick.....

LINK OF THE DAY.
My cousin Sherry sent this one my way. It's the Stick Figure Sinema over at Zooass.com. Now not all the 'films' are free, but enough are to laugh yourself into peeing your pants.. if you like sick humor... I do.
 

SUNDAY, MARCH 14, 1999

DAIKATANA DEMO, A COUPLE MORE THOUGHTS :P. {3:50 PM EST}
Well I got a patch which allows LAN/net play for Daikatana (Thanks Fadz), and tried it out with an optimized cfg and have a couple positive things to say. #1 It has that good ol speed and fast weapon switching that reminds me of good ol plain Quake, you can switch weapons real fast like. #2 The runes. Ok, the power-up sounds are lame ass a dead horse.. 'SPEED!!!' but they work nice. The Acro is cool as hell, you can jump higher etc, combined with the speed rune you can fly all over the map in seconds (bet the net lag will be SO INTENSE). #3 Q1 style air movement.. Yup, you can RJ forward, push backwards and land in the same spot. Always loved that. You can totally controll yourself in the air
As I may not have specified, my review slagged the demo, this is not a final version of Daikatana, nor does it really reflect the final product, so don't totally rule it out as crap, just looks like crap from a distance... :) Hell sometimes that nasty chick across the bar looks damn sweet close up...(or vice versa) :P One other negative quirk, turning off the weapon model appears to leave you wandering which gun you're carrying since the weapons all use the same ammo etc icon.

Here's a copy of my optimized cfg for Daikatana, helps tweak the settings to improve play, and also included a crosshair toggle and the popular unlagger alias (you'll need it). It is here.

BTW, it's snowing like a mofo here....

#23 BE A LAZYASS.
Most of us have jobs right? Those of us who do not get $$$ from ma and pa I assume, either is applicable. Unless you plan on having the job you have for a long time (career choice) then NEVER BUST YOUR ASS. Why? Well, I'll give an example from my current job (although this is applicable to most of my other jobs too) where I busted my ass from the beginning. So I work hard as hell at first, and I play the work politics very well, so I end up getting some advantages at first, a set shift, good section (I'm a waiter). Then somehow I get into cover management training, 'Ok, I'll be a manager.' I think. So I start that, then I end up getting more and more midnight manager shifts, at $6.00 an hour (I make between 6-15 an hour as a server). Then I get out of that and start getting weekend manager shifts (during dinnertime, the $$$ making time as a server). Now this is killing me financially, but hey, I'm a manager... Slowly I realize what I suspected all along, I 'm getting fucked in the ass. Howso? Well my manager is getting a manager that works for $6 and hour, instead of a salaried $300+ a week. Secondly, I can be shoved on the busy ass shifts that my main manager never seems to have to work (cause I'm there) so he can kick back and work the cheese-assed dayshifts. Also, now I'm under constant scrutiny from the managerial types and other workers to 'walk on water'. So now every little mistake I make is the spectacal of the hour.
Now let us consider the lazy-assed, piece of shit employees... They have worked as long as I have there, but do NO WORK AT ALL, well unless it helps them specifically. They get the shifts they want, they get the sections, they get the same $$$ (more if you consider not getting fucked at the $6 an hour rate). Also, these folks are expected to be turds, so when they stand around slacking managers just say, 'Oh well, look who it is..." So I say BE A LAZYASS. You'll stilll get paid the same, and not have to do a damn thing.....

COP STORY PART II.
Well, after my dear, sheister mother called and spoke to the swine herself it seems I can get my car back immediatly, for a mere $45. thing is they'll tow it again when next it sits on the street... *SIGH* So I go get it, and drive it to work (in another state) and leave it there till this is worked out. So of course I have to bum rides and all that shit... Fuckers.

DAIKATANA DEMO, FINAL THOUGHTS.
Ok, so here's my fianl thoughts on this 'highly awaited' demo.
#1 It just looks like Half-Life and Sin got it on and spawned a bastard son in Japan. It's got a lot of Sinish style to the maps and design, with a lot of purty but lame Half-Life weapons and graphics (and net coding).
#2 The net code seems to suck balls much like Unreal and Half-Life. Get this game designers, purty = laggy. Dig? Now of course there is a rare instance of a programming god who can pull it off *COUGH* *CARMACK*.
#3 Lameass weapons. Ok, the Rocket Launcher(?) does some nice Rocket Jumps, but otherwise.... BAH. The models are just plain lame, the effects are not too good, and take note again game guys... purty = laggy. A frigging fist? Come on, and that model screams 'we can't make realistic hands, so we made these square things...'
#4 MPLAYER. WTF? Who in  the hell made this stupid decision? OMFG, Multiplayer Gaming shit like Heat, Mplayer and Won are totally lame as hell. First they rob you of configurability. Second they force you through this long ritual each time you want to play. Thirdly, they are laggy as hell (partially due to lack of user configuability). And lastly (well at least last I'm adding) FUCKING CHAT/GAMING/ADVERTISEMENT HEAVY/MULTIPLAYER SERVICES SUCK DICK.
#5 No basic server ability. Can't even fire it up on the LAN, gotta go through Mplayer... GAH. A 500 ping on my own damn computer... nice.
#6 Outdated. This damn game was started forever ago, and had it came out anywhere near it's scheduled release date, it might have kicked ass. But now that Sin, Half-Life, Tribes etc have come out, it's breaking no new ground, just seemingly touching up the same shit.
In conclusion, I don't like it. Maybe the final versions single player will be fun. I think Half-Life kicked ass for single player, but it's netplay made the Unreal look not so bad.
To quote Public Enemy.... "DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE"

LINK OF THE DAY.
This one was submittedby my homy Blog, it's called GothicMetal's Herbert Kornfeld Shrine. What is it? Well apparantly Herbert Kornfeld is a super accountant who is a plain baddass... Er sumptin...
 

SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 1999

#22 THE COPS HATE YOU. {11:43 AM EST}
How often have you encountered one of our nation's finest and come away feeling like you were treated humane, like a tax payer, like a american citizen, like you have rights? Lemme guess.... Like never?
So this morning there's a banging on my door, I throw on some duds (I sleep in da buff) and go to the door. There stands my downstairs neighbor Allen, "They're towin your car man!" FUCK. I think 'what'd I do now?' So I run downstairs and outside, and not only is there a towtruck, but some swine in their swine mobile staying toasty. So I stroll up to Mr. Towtruckman and ask "May I ask what the fuck you are doing with my car?" He says "Ask the cops." So I stroll over to the cops (now getting out of their car into the chilly air.. WAH) and ask exactly why my car is being removed from my LEGAL parking spot. He points to my plates and says "That's why" I take a look, and after a second or two notice my sticker reads 98..I do some quick finger counting and realize... IT IS 1999, damn. (Side note, since I was 16 and first got a car my car stuff has been in my mom's name to keep rates low and such, now I am old enough to have it cheap for myself, but it's easier to keep it that way, and it helps to keep her rates low since I pay half) Apparantly my dear mother just didn't bother to pay her property taxes (again) and I have to suffer. So I ask exactly why there was no warning, ticket, letter, etc prior to this shit. Pig says "Owner came up at a different address, and we didn't feel like driving over there." (Note, my mother lives at most 1.5 miles away from this present location.) I say, "It's in her name, I just drive it, how the hell am I supposed to know about the taxes etc if I get no warning?" They say "Not our job." I say 'That's justice," and walk back inside grumbling obscenities about murder and guns. Now, as an tax paying american don't I deserve some fucking repect? Could not this been avoided if the drove their LAZY BITCH COP ASSES 1.5 miles to my mothers to say "Your car's gonna get towed if you don't pay." I would have rushed down to the PD and paid  the lil hos to keep my car, BUT NO! Not only that, they towed it on today (Saturday) so I can do nothing till Monday. This means #1 Storage fees for my car. #2 A couple days bumming rides. #3 A hell of a lot of anger building up. #4 Money down the tubes. So here is a mesage to our nations finest... SUCK MY DICK YOU FUCKING PIGS!

DAIKATANA DEMO.
So I downloaded the demo, tried to install and the main CAB file (like 32 of 34 MB) was corrupt.... Sigh. So I downloaded it again and installed, I had about 15 minutes to check it out. Problem #1 THIS IS MPLAYER ONLY! Gah. Had to signup for a lameass accout, fill out forms etc. Finally I connect to Mplayer. Problem #2 My Mplayer version was out-of-date, so I had to download the new one. Gah. Then I'm connected. Problem #3 I had to navigate this FUCKING STUPID online chat bullshit to find a game to play. Ok, I find one, ignore the other 'chatters' saying "HI" and that shit and fire up Daikatana. In I go. Impression #1 Overall appearance reminds me of Half-Life. Impression #2 Kinda think those power up sounds (spoken, kinda like "POWERUP!" or something) were sorta lameass. Weapons (I got to use 3 [fist, a Rocket Launcher(?) and some Laser thingy) were Half-Lifish too. Not sure how well I'll like this. Problem #4 LAG! OMG, I played for like 2 mins and froze solid, checked my rate etc, reconnected, played for 2 more mins, forze solid, quit playing. I was hoping this 'DM ONLY' demo would allow your own server so I could wander about and check it out, and so Rine and I could play some LAN DM to really get a feel before venturing online, NO SUCH LUCK. So it's up to you, if you don't mind suckass gaming environments *COUGH* *WON* *COUGH* *MPLAYER*, have a fast connection, and liked Half-Life multiplayer, then it's all good. However, I will admit that I will give it another whirl LATE tonight to see wassup with less lag, but I fear that Daikatana, for its weaponry and Half-Lifish multiplayer feel may stay in the single player mode for me. More news at eleven....

LINK OF THE DAY.
Ok, Blue's put a small snippet about this, but a lot of folks don't bother with that bottom of the page shit, so here I proudly present TELEBUBBY FUNLANDThis is a real trip.
 
 

FRIDAY, MARCH 12, 1999

A FUNNY PIC.{4:45 PM EST}

#21 DON'T TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT CHICKS THINK/WANT, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEMSELVES.
There's a word to describe women: FRIVOLOUS

And the thesaurus shows synonyms for FRIVOLOUS:

You do the math....

LINK OF THE DAY.
AGD Antics and Mayhem Page. These fellas blow shit up, burn things, and pull other crazy shit. The site has instructions on making some of their... toys, as well as Quicktimes of some of them in action.
 

THURSDAY, MARCH 11, 1999

LINK OF THE DAY.{9:15 PM EST}
Kicking off a new addition here at Dingleberry Central, I present the 'LINK OF THE DAY'. This section will be almost entirely comprised of links found by my web-surfing guru, clannie, and roommate Rine. These links will be if various content (mainly humor) and may show some titties and bad words, so be careful :) The first link is... THE REAL HAMPSTER (an inflatable love hampster.)

NEW LAYOUT.{3:00 PM EST}
So I decided it was time to make the site look more 'professional'. If you really hate it, let me know exactly what you hate about it, and I may try to make it more reader friendly :)

#20 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH TP.{3:00 AM EST}
So you just finished dropping a mighty, steaming log into your bowl, and you reach for some TP...... And there is none. So you end up hobbling with your pants semi up to wherever a spare roll is, and there is none (OH NO!) So you sit there for a moment thinking 'um... what can I use in the near vicinity?' So you hobble to the kitchen for paper towels (ouch), but you're out of those too.... So then what?
Here's a few ideas:

Coffee Filters
Newspaper
Some old cloth thing (T-shirt, towel, sock) :P
Take a shower and 'wash up'

So remember, more TP is a good thing, buy it in 24 packs whenever you can. It is an investment worth it's weight in gold.

FUCK DA MAN!
So a couple monthes ago I got my first speeding ticket in 3 or 4 years. And of course I paid it promptly... NOT! So a couple weeks ago I get a letter from my home state saying 'Send a receipt of your paid ticket by March 12, or we take your license.' So of course I paid it promptly.. NOT! Well a couple days ago I call the folks that I have to pay, and ask where they are, and how much etc. (at a little after 3 PM) So I finally find it at about 4:05, and THEY ARE CLOSED! Fuckers never mentioned that they closed at 4:00 when I called at 3 something. So another day passes, then a huge snowstorm and I finally go there today with my $116.00 in one dollar bills and they didn't like that. Then I had to overnight mail the receipt to my DMV for another $11.00. But I must say, putting it off till the last minute makes me feel great. :)

Here's a little tip: The fuckers must accept US Legal tender. And they must accept up to $50.00 in change. So pay the fuckers in (rolled) PENNIES. I've done it, I got a hard-on while she counted them :) Pay them in like $50 in pennies, and the rest in one dollar bills, you'll thank me. I promise.
 

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10, 1999

GODAMN MICRO$OFT PART II.{3:00 AM EST}
OMFG have I been through hell. I finally think I got 95 in smoothly as possible after moving all the files in my computer all over, formatting all kinds of shit. flashiing my Bios twice (1.08 to 1.10 to 1.2...) and then reinstalling the whole universe..... Can't wait till I get a new HD for Linux to go back on, then I'm putting nails in Winblows coffin :P

#19 IF YOU DO NOT OWN A COMPUTER, AND ARE NEW TO COMPUTERS IN GENERAL, LEARN LINUX AND DON'T TOUCH WINBLOWS PRODUCTS WITH A 1,000,000 FOOT POLE.
Seriously, if you're thinking of learning about computers, and about buying your own box, GO LINUX ALL THE WAY. Besides being unstable, expensive, hard and expensive to tech support and in general Winblows products (all of thenm, 95, 98, NT) are pieces of shit.
 
 

MONDAY, MARCH 8, 1999

GODAMN MICRO$OFT. {12:45 PM EST}
Well I exorcised the demon Saturday night (Win 98) and began reinstalling a 'working' version of Win 95. The process was a battle the whole way (downgrading) so I was up all night with Wayfarer (the Win 95 guru :P ) on the phone battling the new demons. After being up all night battling (and bullshitting) I had to go straight to work, so the page was renedered 'sterile' for the day. SORRY, thank uncle Bill for that one...

#18 BUFFETS, SALAD BARS AND OTHER 'ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT' BARS ARE GIFTS FROM GOD.
Consider the implications of this saying 'ALL YOU CAN EAT'. Powerful ain't it? You can walkin to this place with like $5-10 bucks and eat for as long (within reason) and hard as you like. OMG. the joy... At home I have like Ramen Noodels, oatmeal, some stale pizza (another gift from God) and Mt Dew (Rine's) and Coffee. So when I am hime, I am starving. However I can visit a restuarant and eat enough to last me two days :) AND, get this.. I am a waiter/manager at a restaurant with a HUGE salad bar, so I get discounts :P
 
 

SATURDAY, MARCH 6, 1999

LOOKING FOR HELP. {1:30 PM EST}
Since I have a job and stuff, and can't spent 24/7 on this page, I am looking for people to help me to improve this site by adding their talents. I am looking for HTML gurus, news writers, humor writers, artists and any other that feel like their talents can improve this site. What's in it for you? Well a little FTP space, some recognition (trust me, I know how to spam :) ), a place to post your views and humor (without having to start your own site and draw folks), and my supreme thanks (what more do you need?).
Anyone interested please drop me a line or send me something you think is postable now. For the moment I will be receiving any submissions via email, deciding if postable, then posting as applicable.

LINUX Q3A.
So like, how does this work? Having become a 'partially' Linux enhanced fella, I have a small clue as to how downloaded proggies install. But, how the hell will Q3A install? Will it have some cool front-end installer? Or will it be as complicated as normal (downloaded) installs?

#17 WAYFARER'S LAW #2 {5:15 AM EST}
"ASK A WOMAN TO PROVE SOMETHING AND SHE WILL... TO HER SATISFACTION."
 
 

FRIDAY, MARCH 5, 1999

#16 WAYFARER'S LAW {2:29 AM EST}
"A WOMAN SEES IN SOMETHING WHAT SHE WISHES TO SEE, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT IS THERE OR NOT".
That is a VERY accurate take on an email I recently received. A certain someone read my page recently and said "Seems that i can learn your goings-on by reading this thing." Well no, see most of the Dingleberries come from discussions with my pal Way, and we pop out some shit in the subject matter that is worthy of posting. Some of it is related, but the Dingleberries are a reflective view of it, not the real thing.