THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 1999
DIGITAL CAMERAS SUCK (3:10 AM EST)
Got my paws on this digital camera, and my computer won't read shit from it. I followed the brief instructions to the 'T' and all I get is the cameras splash screen (a good sign), but it sayd the camera is off or something, but it's on. Anyone know about these pieces of crap?
TFC SITE HACKED
Hehehe, Fadz sent me this one, which came to him from Puppet over at Planet HoSlap. It's pretty amusing... Check it out HERE. (If the page is *fixed* when you get to it, let me know, I got screenshots of the damage that I'll post)
OLD MAN MURRAY'S
Levelord 'Beerf*ck' (Ritual) updated these amusing links in his .plan

I highly recommend a daily visit to Old Man Murray's...  http://www.oldmanmurray.com/default.wc

It can be brutal and down right cruel to game developers, ...hell, it slams just about anything that's not nailed down, but it's too funny to miss no matter who you are.  I risk alienation by some of my comrads perhaps, for taking sides with Marvin and his bastardly crew, but having been a prime target myself, I feel no shame in this referal.

And a later .plan
It is with great embarrassment that I forgot to mention the "other" most hilarious web site on the net... http://www.oldmanmurray.com/seanbaby/

...just read it if you're feeling Blue, ...no wait, ...I mean, it will make you feel up, ...I mean, like, ...when you're down. 

PAY-TO-PLAY
After checking out the TFC site I followed the link and read all about this Everquest, and I'm stoked. Well, except one point, a F%$#ING $9 charge per month to play. WTF is this shit? When will these idiots realize that charging for games is LAME, and eventually hackers will just get in free anyways. I'm sick and tired of paying $50 for a game, then to play it online I gotta shell out another fee to play online. Goddamn you bastards, you got my money, why ass-rape me once my addiction sets in? Games are about fun right? You got my money, so I should be able to have fun with your game right? So how can I have fun with your game when I gotta work extra hours to earn some cash to play your damn game? Or if they don't charge you, they make you sign up for some lameass MPlayer or Heat account to play on laggy servers against idiots. Thank god for id software, the king of online gaming, for not being retards and trying to charge to play. It's about fun, not money. Look at id, they've created an immense community of players, designers, mappers, programmers etc, and are rich as hell, and they don't charge a dime. To all you pay-to-play assholes (AOL and others), kiss my hairy white ass, I'll never buy a game that requires me to pay-to-play, no matter how cool it is.
NORM QUOTE
"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going down?"
#53 BREASTS MAKE WOMEN RETARDED
Consider it, all that blood that should be going to their brains is going their headlights instead, and this makes them retards. I know, you women will say some crap like, 'men's blood goes to their penises' but this is not so. Men's schlongs stay small and shriveled when not in use to keep blood usage at a minimum, so our brains get all the oxygen they need. When are jimmies get erect, they suck our blood from our brains, but this is a for a couple of reasons: We throw common sense (that bitches are evil) away, and pursue them.We become more animalistic, to increase sexual prowess.We can ignore pain/exhaustion associated with long periods of animalistic sex.We forget that by having sex with this chick we've just doomed ourselves to future pain and suffering. This in turn helps to continue our species, for if men were always in complete mental perfection (as we normally are) then we would never go near those nasty creatures.
RINE'S LINK OF THE DAY
In order to help men everywhere to avoid women (the evilest creatures to ever exist) here's a helpful link, PASSWORDHQ. This site has hundreds of hacked pr0n sites so you can get all kinds of free pr0n to keep you busy. Why talk to ho's when you got your two hands and some pr0n?
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 1999
MORE MATRIX (3:10 AM EST)
Ok, I saw The Matrix again today, that's #3, anyone else able to match or beat that? The part in the beginning where Trinity jumps into the air, and kinda hangs there looking at the cop for a second gives me chills.. Here is a beautiful woman, 1/2 a second away from whupping some serious ass. And oh how I enjoy watching her do it..... :)
BOBBY DUNCANSON'S .plan
*********************
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
*********************
* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
 Do not iron clothes on body.

 * On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
 Do not drive car or operate machinery.

 * On Nytol (a sleep aid):
 Warning: May cause drowsiness.

 * On a Korean kitchen knife:
 Warning keep out of children.

 * On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
 For indoor or outdoor use only.

thanks Tony!

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
 A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with 
and the other is used to carry groceries.

QUAKE DREAMS
Scott McNutt (Level Designer, Raven) updated his .plan:
Interesting story...

Greg Barr, fellow designer on Soldier of Fortune, was a bit reluctant to share this. And because
he did, I will share it with all.

In one of his dreams last night he dreamed that he was taking a shower in the rocket room in 
Quake's DM3. He also claims that is was discrete and that there were curtains up. But I think he
is just trying to mention that he has some kind of decency left in him. I guess those years of late night 
DeathMatching is finally taking a toll on his subliminal thoughts.

A true Quake junkie.

-pork chop

Minnesotan's Guide to Computer Lingo
Rob Gee's (Artist, Raven) updated his .plan
... and now a Minnesotan's Guide to Computer Lingo - provided
by one of our fellow northerner-types, the rugged Jeff Lampo:

LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter

LOG OFF: don't add da vood.

MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove

MEGAHERTZ: vhen a big log drops on your bare foot in da morning

FLOPPY DISK: vhat ya get from piling too much vood

RAM: da hydraulic ting dat makes da voodsplitter vork

DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter

PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season

ENTER: come on in

WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below

SCREEN: vhatis a must during black fly season

CHIP: vhat ya munch during da Packers game

MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone

MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last July

DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix's wife

LAP TOP: vhere da grandkids sit

KEYBOARD: vhere ya supposed to put da keys so da Missus can find dem

SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?

MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard

MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof

PORT: vhere da commercial fishin boats dock

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spend on da new
deer rifle vhen da vife asks about it

Apologies to Gil ;)

NORM QUOTE
[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
"Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
"With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."
#52 ANY CREATURE THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND LIVE MUST BE EVIL....
For those of you slow of mind..... Think opposite of men.
RINE'S LINK OF THE DAY
One of the undisputed greatest games to ever come out for the Nintendo was Metroid. Every game in the series rocks. And this here site, THE METROID DATABASE has all the sounds, pics, whatever you could want. Damn, if Metroid64 comes out... might need to buy a N64.

 
TUESDAY, APRIL 13, 1999
Voodoo 3 INFO (12:00 AM EST)
After all the hype about the TNT being sooo much purtier cause of 32 bit rendering, it turns out losing frames for higher resolutions is a waste of time. The Voodoo^3 starts as 16-bit, but ends up 22-bit on your screen. BEYOND 3D has a detailed breakdown of this process, as well as comparitive screenshots and benchmarks. So it seems ridiculous to buy an over-priced TNT, to get less frams, and almost exact video quality.  You can check out the article HERE.
STUPIDITY LAWSUIT
As you may have read on Blue's, there's a bit about some idiot who killed some kids in prayer group because.. get this... he played Quake, Doom, etc, and looked at net porn. Oh please, if that's all it takes to make you a homicidal maniac, then my ass should be in a high security prison. Parents blame video games, albums and books for their children behaving like raving retards, when the truth is that if they raised the goddamn kids right they wouldn't believe the Quakeguy was real. If your child is so mentally weak as to believe make believe characters are real, and songs are speaking directly to you to tell you to kill etc, then that kid needs to be put in a special place away from all those 'evil' influences. But again, if the kid is that stupid, then there is nobody to blame except the moronic parents for raising them to be such walking brain-farts. 
Want to read about the story? Check out HERE and HERE.
NORM QUOTE
"How are you today, Mr. Peterson?"
"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."
#51 EVEN STUPID PEOPLE HAVE A PURPOSE, TO WORK AT McDONALD'S AND TO AMUSE YOU.
See the above story.. Not sure who's a bigger idiot, the kid, or his NIMROD parents.
RINE'S LINK OF THE DAY
Help the ASSASSIN kill some annoying personalities like Bill Gates and The Backstreet Boys...