Star Wars Rantage

For those of you that hate it: You've seen it right? Yes? You lose. You're going to see the 2nd and 3rd one aren't you, even if to prove that it sucks? Yeah...? You lose again. Wether you hate the movie or not you're going to see it and that's the point... all you have to do is see it, and you've contributed to Star Wars enough for it to have a reason for existence. For those of you that are sychophants, you know who you are: you've read all the books, you've been ordering Pizza Hut and going to KFC and Taco Bell ever since you saw those first ads, and you've already got all the toys, your obsession clouds your perception, and reasoning. I think you believe this story is too much your own, and not George Lucas'.

There, now that I've got flames to the two extremes out of the way let me delve further into my opinion of the movie. I'll give you some background first so you know where I'm coming from. My mother was pregnant with me when she saw Star Wars. I grew up surrounded by the toys and the movies and the made-for-TV spin-offs. I loved them all. My favorite of Episodes 4-6 is 6 with 4 coming in a close second and ESB trailing behind. It is by far the pincale moment for the character most focused on in these three movies, Luke Skywalker, our hero. I am also an avid sci-fi reader. More modern authors than the old ones, but I've read Clarke, Asimov, Anthony, Heinlen, and Hubbard a few times. I know the difference between Science-Fiction and Science-Fanatasy.

Star Wars is Science-Fantasy, the science of it is merely a setting not a plot device. It is a circumstance, not a means to any end. The story can be told in any other setting. It is an old story: Good vs Evil, and you can't get any older than that.

My largest problem with critics of this movie is that they try to project upon the movie their thoughts and ideas of the world Lucas has created instead of letting the movie project upon them. Time and again I see people saying that the way this is in the movie is wrong, or that. It's not your story my friend, it is his. He will tell it the way he feels it should be told, and I have faith in his intelligence as the creator of this fictional world to make things work. To my knowedge no one has seen the completed work of the entire Star Wars saga, save the man who created it all. It is his vision, and no persons vision is crystal clear, accept that and many allowances can be made that will let you enjoy the movie more.

The two greatest problems I have heard are that a) it is a childrens movie and b) Jar-Jar Binks. These seem to tie in well enough.

This movie is not a childrens movie. The story is simple, yes. These are not one in the same though. It's simple because the underlying story is so old and basic. The movies adult themes come into play few times, and only when there is a moral delima. For examples: Queen Amidala's choice made during the senate hearing. Qui-gon's decision to defy the council. Shi's decision to let Anakin race. These are not choices that a child could come to rationally, and many adults would be hard pressed to make some of these decisions. Topple your largest supporter for what you hope is the greater good of your people, defy your superiors on your faith in a boy, let your child risk his life for three strangers? These themes do not in any way imply a childrens movie. The characters choices seem simple becuase they are made so quicly but, the characters make their decision so quickly because they have depth that goes beyond what we were able to see in the time-constraints of the movie. Their internal struggles are hidden from us to drive the plot forward, and tell the begining of a three part story, nah six part story. If you are searching for more complex characters and story look for a movie that is not part of such a huge saga, or one that's circumstances are not so grand, or be prepared to sit throgh more hours of a movie than most people have an attention span for.

Jar-jar binks is a loveable character, for those of us who can get past his quirks and foibles, or because of them. First let me address his language. It is wrong to judge a race's use of our language. You don't know how their race or language evolved. It's apparent enough that they have a hard time speaking english, and that their own tounge is rather flipant. This character is different in a comical and almost annoying way, but it would be wrong to judge what he does as wrong. This is where bigotry and racisim stem from, pushing your judgements on another culture (that's fictional too, geez). Wether you like the character or not he's there for a reason, and he accomplishes his task well, however over the top it seems. You've already been told at the begining of the movie that he is accident prone, and he's inept at doing many things. He does show more intelligence than most people give him credit for in the scene on Corsicant with the queen. Like him or hate him he's a neccesary and usefully character in the movie. A plot device for the movie if nothing else. Oh, and I'd rather listen to him than the occasional loud grunt from a walking carpet.

Anakin Skywalker is a kid. "But he's so annoying!" Kids are annoying. "But I don't like kids!" Anakin Skywalker is a kid. Nobody cares if you like kids or not. He's a kid, deal with it. At times he's bright other times he's not. You want some consistency? He's a kid. Ok, I hope I've said that enough.

"Darth Maul is so cool, why is he dead?" He is evil, and a minor character. Evil losses. Evil minor characters lose first. I think he's very cool, but he is a bad guy, and bad guys don't win in this story. I think he is put in such a secondary position to down play the possiblities of actually liking this evil character.

The Queen Amedala/Padmae switch was brilliant. In that type of society it should have been expected. It took me a long time to confirm who was who. I've found that the first switch comes before the droids capture her. The "We are brave your highness." is a cue to the bodyguard that is well done. The scenes on Corsicant are confusing though. Padmae wouldn't be out on an errand, though she did clean R2 up. It wasn't clear if the errand was the senate hearing and at that point there were two of them in the queens garb or she saw Anakin and then left for the senate hearing. I do know that everytime after that the queen is the real queen until after they are back on Naboo. It wouldn't be appropriate or in character for the bodyguard to speak at the senate hearing or so frankly to Senator Palpatine or even Jar-Jar. I think it should also have been more obvious that she makes the clicking sounds when adressing Boss Nass. I think the actress does a good job of slipping in and out of her queen/commanding voice and that of Padmae. I enjoyed this character almost as much as the two Jedi.

The Immaculate Conception thing is overblown. I admit it could have been handled better. Most people jump to conclusions here. They want another reason to hate the movie. I'm sorry, but say what you want about Lucas he's just not that stupid to try to make that kind of reference. Sure, Anakin is one of the most important characters, but he's definitely not even close to JC. Besides the fact that SW is not a story based on biblical references. It's just that the underlying story is the same: Good vs Evil. I think we've been over this before. Oh, and you want an explenation for this. I think he's a clone. The first clone. Of who we do not know. It's also possible he was constructed. Eiter way Shi could have carried him to term w/o her knowledge. I think with their technology, and the fact that Tatoine is so secluded, that it would be possible to do this with little or no questions or evidence. Besides, don't you think that Senator Palpatine is a little too non-chalant about congradualting him? Gets you thinking doesn't it?

One thing that has started to bother me is something that is bothering a friend of mine. Qui-gon doesn't dissapear after he is killed like the other Jedi Masters we have seen die. Is he a Jedi Master? Yoda and the council refer to him as such, or are they merely referring to his status as Obi-wans teacher/master? I can only assume that he is only a Jedi Knight since I doubt they would taint his memory in the later movies.

Oh, and people are onto the ET thing as well. I finally saw them. I think it's cool as hell. I like it when a story includes a reference to a completely different story. Isn't it neat to know that the alien from ET is an old race from a distant galaxy? How does that explain why we are here and not in the bossom of an inter-galactic society? I think it alludes to many more interesting stories, and people are just getting upset to get upset about it.

The special effects were great. There are some problems in it, but they are so small that only someone looking for them will notice. They did a good job of balancing the work load in that way. There is a place where ILM forgot a shadow. It's hard to notice unless you're looking. When Anakin leads Jar-jar, Padmae, and Qui-gon into his home Anakin goes first, Jar-jar second... he doesn't have a shadow... at all and the rest of them do. Though Padmae and Qui-gons are rather faint. Just a small thing. After seeing it a third time I also didn't believe that the scenes when the ILM characters are walking on sand looked right. The sand needed to give way where they walked. It's a small thing. The droids at times also looked off, other times they were seemeless. Most of the fight scenes with them were perfect. I think it's just because we aren't used to this level of robotics. The landing scenes are also well done. I know how much these guys slaved away at getting this done. I am very impressed.

The fart/"doodoo" joke(s): Your focusing on this? Give me a break. This is your major beef with the movie? A fart joke? What joke would you rather it be? Should it be, "A priest, A rabbi and a..."? Oh, the joke shouldn't be there? Ok, so we won't add a little humor to a scene that will shortly be deadly serious? Oh, I'm sorry this is Star Wars this is serious business. A movie that takes you through more emotions makes it a better movie. One that contrasts the emotions makes it more powerfull.

Warwick Davis/Willow: Warwick Davis kicks ass! I guess he ain't allowed to act for a living anymore, eh? You need to tell him that the next time you see him. I don't think he knows.

The music is some of the best I've heard for a movie. I was impressed to see John Williams get out of his pop composer rut. I think that's the first time I've heard him use chorus in his scores. Wow! The fight scene would be nothing with out that score. The human voice is truly the most powerfull instrument. It's a shame it took him this long to figure that out. So much brass and percussion in his usual stuff. I've even played his stuff before, but I've never bought a soundtrack with him as composer until now. The rest of it is also good. A lot more variety in themes than his previous work. Frankly Jurassic Park disgusted me. This time he's good at including the Star Wars theme subtly. Gives you a tie-in at important parts to the overall theme of the movies. A good use of music to keep the story and characters meshed together with out being as blunt as he usually is. The Gungan music is also a great improvement over the Ewok music. Besides the fact he had a better pallete to work off considering the increased focus on the Gungan culture as opposed to a bunch of furry mini-bears running around in tree-villages. Not that the ewoks weren't cool, it's just that many musicians groan when forced to listen to that last song from ROTJ.

Memorable lines:

"What are you, some kind of Jedi?"
"Why do I have the feeling we're picking up another poor soul?"
"Wipe them out. All of them."